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What defines you?

The truth of your character is expressed through the choice of your actions.” — Dr Steve Maraboli

How would you answer these questions? “What defines you? What has shaped you in the eyes of society, your family, friends, and lovers?”

Life doesn’t just happen. Your life is defined by the choices you make. Stop for one moment and think about it…

You, or someone around you, chooses what the next thought, the next comment, or activity will be. Whether you allow someone else to make these choices for you – or you make the choices yourself – you develop as an individual according to the choices that guide or influence your life.

You were born into this world with pre-existing conditions: where you were born, the color of your skin, your religion, your basic physical characteristics, and the guidance you received in early childhood. These are all factors that helped to form you in some way. You cannot blame these conditions on your choices. Be willing to take full responsibility of yourself and the choices you make. You have control over every aspect of your life. You have the power to create your own unique experiences through your own choices. Let go of the belief that outside forces are responsible for your choices. Don’t give away your power.

Remember these words: Your choices determine your actions. Your actions determine your life.

You define your life by the choices you make every day. Know your purpose. This is very empowering. The day you start making your own choices without the conditions you were born with, everything in your life will fall into place.

I was born into a very controlling family. I was expected to be a certain way, and to live up to my family’s beliefs. I was supposed to go to college, get married to a man, have babies, purchase a house, and the list goes on. It took me a lifetime to make my own choices and take control of my life. I was always so afraid of disappointing my family.

But there comes a point in your life that you have to step out and do what you believe in – to just be you. I was 40 when I did that. Divorced my husband. Came out as a gay woman. Came out as a witch, medium and a psychic. I’ll never forget the look on my Mom’s face when I told her I was gay. The first question she had was, “Will you stop shaving under your arms and legs?” I thought, WTF? She was so embarrassed that I came out to family and friends. She told all of her people that I was just going through another ‘artist’ phase and that I would come to my senses soon.

I learned to build boundaries. I learned not to be a people pleaser. I learned to make choices that make me happy. My daughter always believed in me, no matter my choices. Having her on my side definitely didn’t hurt! My actions define me!

Take risks. Love yourself. Do things for you. Take control of your life. Make your own choices. Speak your mind. Be who you were born to be!

You are good. You are awesome. You are beautiful. Don’t change you. Remember, your actions define who you are.

So, how do you define yourself?


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